PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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