hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
