she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
