Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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