i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
