but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
lol hangovers are for mortals.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
