I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
