i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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