So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
