Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
