The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
