If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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