In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
