i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
