shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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