Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
