I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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