whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
