none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
