I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
