I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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