I smell stomach acid.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
They are going to name an STD after you.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
