we're blogging at a bar
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
