You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
