Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
