the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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