summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize