Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
