In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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