You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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