summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
