His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
