So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
