Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
