oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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