You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
