I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
