Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Life without a bra equals bliss.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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