I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
