I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
