it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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