I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
