Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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