I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
