i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
