We're like a lot better than the average bears
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
