I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
