It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
