You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Please, let me fuck your mom
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
