Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
