I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
