Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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